It Takes a Paramedic
by FlaFan
Summary: Just what did Johnny take off Brackett's desk in Season 2's "Drivers," and why? He explains.


**It Takes a Paramedic**

_Just what did Johnny take off Brackett's desk in Season 2's "Drivers," and why? He explains._

_Notes: This is based on an apparent prank Randy Mantooth pulled during the filming of the scene. You can see it at watch?v=cZ3ZHROazv4 . _

_The Edith Bunker "klepper" episode of "All in the Family" aired just a couple of months before Emergency's "Drivers" episode. _

Aw, man…..

I can't believe I did that!

I mean, Dixie's a great friend and all. But what I just did for her…..I'm a thief!

I can just hear Chet calling me a "klepper," like Edith Bunker in that "All in the Family" episode. A kleptomaniac.

Or worse - knowing Chet's twisted sense of humor – he'll call me an "Indian Taker."

Well, not quite…..

See, Dr. Brackett has a birthday coming up. And you know how Dixie is about birthdays. She got me to celebrate mine!

And I feel like I owe something to Brackett. See, at the party Dixie threw for me, I kinda insulted him. He didn't support the paramedic program then, and I was mad. Then he changed his mind. Of course, that was after Roy and me helped save Dixie's life.

So Dixie wants to inscribe the paperweight on his desk. Only it's tough for her to get the paperweight without being too obvious.

"You can do it, can't you, Johnny?" she asks with that low voice, batting those eyelashes at me and giving me that big grin.

I gulp. Can't turn Dixie down. Can't resist her…No, not that way! Dixie's old enough to be my – uh – big sister!

Anyway, I promised.

I turn to Roy and ask, "Now, how am I supposed to get that paperweight from Brackett's office?"

"Let's get some coffee and discuss it," is what he says.

"OK."

We get our coffee and decide to enjoy the nice weather on the patio. If it wasn't a hospital, it would be a good place to lie back in a lawn chair and catch some sun. Almost.

We sit down and Roy asks, "You're expecting me to help you on this?"

"Yeah! Why not?" I'm surprised he's hesitating, after listening to Dixie. If she wants us to walk through fire – wait a minute, that's a bad comparison, since we DO walk through fire in our jobs. But Roy's usually willing to do as she asks.

"I don't know…..I mean, rifling through Brackett's office….." Roy is such a worrier.

"Man, we're not going to have to go rifling through his office! Dixie said the paperweight's on his desk!"

"Still, it's HIS desk!" Roy insists.

"Well, if you don't want to help out….FINE!" I tell him.

"Johnny….."

"No, just forget it." I decide to change the subject. Roy and I had just brought in a football player with severe back spasms.

We're talking about the injury and the manliness of playing football when Brackett joins us and invites us to listen to a tape of a recent call. It involves Dr. Parsons, who had been an instructor to both Roy and me.

We follow Brackett to his office and I plan strategy – and wrestle with guilt. Dr. Parsons…..a fine paramedic instructor, and Brackett…..He's giving us a privilege. Brackett trusts us.

Still, when Brackett opens the door to his office, there it is – right on his desk.

A gold something-or-other. Right, Dixie called it a paperweight. But I'm not sure what it is.

We step right up to the desk. As Brackett's mentioning Dr. Parsons' EKG and turning on the tape, I slide the thing right over and put it in my pocket.

No problem at all. James Bond couldn't have done any better. But did James Bond ever feel this guilty?

We stop at the nurses' station, where Dixie's on the phone. I reach in my pocket, pull out the…thing… and place it on the desk. Still on her phone call, Dixie smiles, slides it across the desk, puts it away someplace and gives me a wink of thanks.

Roy almost chuckles. "Pretty good, Mr. Mundy," he says.

I frown. "Mundy?"

"Yeah. Alexander Mundy. The guy Robert Wagner played in 'It Takes a Thief.'"

Far out. And Mundy got all the chicks, too.

Mundy, huh? Judy Thatcher, that cute new nurse in obstetrics, is with me at Dixie's apartment for Brackett's birthday party. OK, she's talking to Dr. Mahaffey, that single guy in neurology. Actually, I brought her here, but she hasn't spent much time talking to me. Man.

Forget that. It's time for Brackett to open his gifts.

One, two, three…The boxes, wrappings and ribbons pile up, and Dixie, bless her, writes down who gave what. Judy's clearly more interested in what Mahaffey has to say about the presents than my opinion, so I swap observations with Roy and Joanne.

Oh, I brought a gift, too. I bought this one, didn't steal it. Brackett's a tennis buff, and there's a new book, _Inner Game of Tennis,_ that he might like. I hope no one else got it for him.

He likes it. "Thanks, Johnny. Haven't had time to go out and get this book, but I've wanted to."

"He needs the help," Dr. Early jokes. We all laugh.

"Hey, I do need the help, and I appreciate Johnny getting the book," Brackett says, with his version of a smile – without teeth.

"Enjoy it," I say. I look over at Judy to see if she's impressed. She's still talking to Mahaffey.

Brackett goes on opening gifts, until he gets to the last one: Dixie's.

Is there anything she can't do? She wrapped it so well, with a beautiful ribbon.

Brackett picks it up. "Is it cologne?" he asks, shaking it. Roy and I look at each other and try not to laugh.

Dixie does laugh. "Try again," she says.

Brackett shakes the box and his head. "Think I'll try opening it."

Carefully, he undoes Dixie's wrapping. Man, I wish I'd brought my camera.

Brackett has another version of a smile – with some teeth – when he opens the box and reads the inscription on the paperweight.

"To Dr. Kelly Brackett, who carries the heavy load for Rampart Emergency."

I look at Roy; we both nod. Dixie's _good….._

"Well, it isn't just from me, Kel," Dixie says. She waves an arm around to all of us. "Everyone helped."

_Yeah, everyone…_I take a swallow of my can of beer.

Brackett shakes his head and flashes his no-teeth smile. He's moved; I can tell.

"You know, I never much cared for this paperweight before," he says. "I had it on the back of my desk, kind of away from where I could see it, because it was just so plain to look at. But I'll tell you what; I'll put it in a prominent place now."

I can't believe it. I kind of shake my head and look at Roy, who just shrugs his shoulders. Some help my partner is!

I've been worrying about nothing. Brackett didn't even notice the paperweight was gone!

I tell that to Roy, who says:

"He'll notice now."

Aw, man. Hope Dixie never asks me to take anything off Brackett's desk again…..

THE END


End file.
